by Gloria Hash Marcus
Students (and adults) may not be aware of their true desires, so it may be difficult to use assertive skills. They may lack clarity about what they want because they are trying to please others or they may be confused about their goals or intentions. Chapter 3 in R U Assertive? deals with these issues. By using the techniques in Chapter 3 such as Writing Sprints, Relaxation Techniques, or Space Cushions, etc. students can reach a greater degree of clarity about their choices. Students can also perceive the roadblocks to their goals. Once these issues become clearer and students access their true feelings, assertive skills are a natural progression.
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My two sons both just turned 13, and I am in the process of trying to help them realize (or not be so influenced by those around them) and see through the crowd to visualize their goals. I have purchased your book, and completely agree with you about the exercises in Chapter 3. I have been using the exercises with them the past few weeks, and they seem to be responding in a very positive manner; they especially like the writing sprints and drawing. My question is, is there one exercise in particular that you recommend for students to practice? I also cannot seem to get them interested in the activities concerning boundaries and breathing; is there a way to convince them that these are helpful exercises as well? Thank you for these great exercises and your input!
Remy, You must have a good relationship with your sons – and that is something to be proud of! Chapter 3 in R U Assertive? has multiple techniques for helping each of us reach clarity about what we want and what our true feelings are. It is exciting that your sons are finding writing sprints and drawing exercises useful. For the present time, do not try to “push” other techniques. Your sons are letting you know what works for them and what exercises may not be effective. As your sons grow older, they may embrace techniques that do not suit them at the present time.